Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Rasgulle with Rahul

Yummy. I live to eat sweets. Well back to writing after a long time.
Thank you Megha and Sameer for those comments. I dedicate this one to you fellows. :-)
Before we move on to the topic of discussion I would like to mention what happened meanwhile……

I read a lot of blogs and found that all of them had copied my themes/ story lines i.e. the ones I was about to write. So I waited for an original thought to strike me and found that I was not really as creative as many think (In fact I found I had overrated myself.) This was followed by a phase of self exploration. I found out that by exploring an area that had nothing in it will yield nothing. The basic principle of physics that matter can neither be created nor destroyed applies and therefore trying to extract something out of the void seems to be a futile task. Then my instincts of a diligent student in a coaching centre arose like a phoenix. I looked up for phrases and simply landed on this topic while singing inky pinky ponky… So let the madness begin.

Surfing the T. V. is an art by it self. You need expertise and domain knowledge to eliminate channels, find the right ones and ignore/appreciate advertisements. Some of the surfs yield snippets of conversation that are gems of entertainment.

Well I was watching “Coffee with Karan” recently. I know that some of my friend would raise an eye brow already, but relax and stop wandering in to those dirty thoughts of yours.
Rakhee Sawant was on the show and the conversation…...

Karan: Have U got plastic surgery done.
Rakhee: Ya, did U see my lips. They are filled.
Karan: (By nature not aroused by such a provocative statement) Where else did you fill in.
Rakhee: What do you mean by that? (Ends the statement with a weird smile which I suppose was intended to be indicating indecent stuff.)
Karan: Produces the best fake laugh I have seen. Seems to me that he has learnt a bit of acting in the process of directing.

The point to be noted is that if this was Meka or Mika what ever that poor souls name is, the “bharatiya nari” would have come out of her. But I feel Rakhee knew that in the case of Karan it would not work owing to his well known gender preferences.

The switch happens to a news channel….thanks to my cable operator who believes in shuffling the channels regularly to make my surfing more random and interesting. What do I see....It is Sidhu and Ajay Jadeja with a new host on NDTV. The host…errr….hostess knew that she was dealing with the most uncontrolled monster and yet displayed the courage of a Greek warrior facing certain death. The topic was about cricket and thus I am not interested in the content.

Hostess: .(Throws a question) Blah blah blah
Ajay: I feel that…. (Thunder. Ajay stops abruptly)
Sidhu: Thunder, rain, thunder, rain, thunder, rain … ‘n’ iterations.
Ajay: Drenched and shivering in rage, yet speechless.
Hostess: Safely camouflaged in the audience peeps out and gives a grin.

What a show. I still do not understand the need for Ajay. They knew Sidhu was there. Well I know that the hostess was also dispensable but in the name of a standard show, you need somebody to pass around the microphone. I wonder how it would be to put Rakhee instead of Ajay. Ah I know there are friends who are raising eye brows again. Come on fellows…..what did Mandira know when she hosted the world cup.


Mean while on another channel we have “Jeena isheka naam hai”. Rakee once again and Mahesh Bhatt speaking. “Rakhee I know that you are a person with the cleanest heart. And from such a clean heart comes courage to speak against the system. Keep that innocence and vulnerability that you have for they are your assets. I like you a lot. Bye.” Well I know that every one is entitled to a clean heart what ever they do but still……what tickled me was that Mahesh was trying to say he has done such unbelievable things with his actresses that what Rakhee went through was nothing. He was also tying to say that she had a lot of courage to pull the media for a kiss …well…initiated by her.


Suddenly I see a foreigner kissing an Indian woman in a news channel. Yes, you know every bit about this one. Apparently I underestimated the length and the number of kisses. It looked like a competition of some sort. And you must have seen the happy face of Shilpa post the event. Rakhee, learn to fix the right kind of fellows. You would have got compensation in dollars if it was Gere. And that’s where Mahesh’s analysis of Rakhee’s clean heart finds substantiation.

Moving to more international stuff…sorry, Gere and Shipla are already international… I was watching a telecast of the Oscars on some channel…now do not ask me which one I seriously do not remember. The actresses were walking in on the red carpet one after the other and you must have seen the misery of the poor things. They were finding it difficult not to step on each others train and I could see the suffering on their faces. To add to that there is the Manish Malhotra kind of guy trying to analyse every damn dress. All of the dresses looked the same and most were of the same colour. Stupidity at its heights.

Well “The Simpsons” always throws in a surprise. I liked a piece of conversation and it goes like this….
Simpson: Hey, was that guy with my wife handsome and rugged.
Bartender: He was rugged but not handsome.
Simpson: The difference.
Bartender: Handsome fellows keep looking at themselves in the mirror and there it ends. Women keep looking at the rugged fellows and generally it never ends there.

Well dear reader I hope you had some relaxation from constantly entertaining yourself through other mediums. I understand that most of us are tired managing our entertainment schedules. See you, until the next one.

Rahul.