Sunday, September 14, 2008

The confessions of a noble brother

How many of you have read this as "The confessions of a criminal mind"?
Let me explain the significance of your accidental reading. If you are a girl and has a brother, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s just your mental predisposition. Any one else…please get to a psychiatrist immediately...there is no time to spare.
This whole talk today is dedicated to this one aspect of a man’s life. The all dominant SISTERS.


There was a change in my sister when I visited her this time. She has become more possessive of my mom and seems to have ...well in a way occupied the whole place. Dominance is the word and I truly felt the lack of power. I understand that this must be due to my mother pouring all the love that used to get divided (tough not exactly in half but still a substantial share I would say.) between me and her. Any ways she felt it was difficult to just divulge so much power and control just for the sake of a brother. The reluctance was clear.

Any ways my bedroom is no more mine. A bit of history is needed here. Once I did have a room of my own. The same one which is called my sister's room now. She looked at me as if I was a refugee in that room. May be the next time I visit, I suppose she will issue a visa to enter the room...Grrrrr.
Well memories of what was once my own overwhelm me now. This was three and a half years ago. I designed that room and my mom financed it. Well technically there was a flaw in the process of deciding whose room to start designing first and it turned out to be mine. The room completed and my sister invited some of her friends over for lunch. The only thing that I was clearly able to overhear was as follows
“Hey how was my idea of the bed in that room…you know me and my mom sat for long hours and designed that room.”
A thermo nuclear bomb did erupt in me, yet I had to control my self in the name of family dignity (You got to understand that in the process of containing this explosion some of my nerves got permanently damaged and I did go through a hemorrhage. But given the size of the explosion, the damage is not proportional I suppose.) I realize while writing that this might be very well a carefully orchestrated plan in the first place; for I could not hear any thing except this line….umh…isn’t that fishy.
Well, then came the day I had to leave and join my company in Hyderabad. That’s when she declared that she would like to (read love to) occupy my room but promised me that I still had the right to occupy two of the cupboards. You should understand that in history the promise of a conqueror should never be taken seriously. Well after all I took it seriously and paid the price. The next time I checked the cupboards, they were firmly looked with am invisible board stating the owner’s name.

Girls are born with a gift that is used most indiscriminately of all things in the world. They command an air that tells then that in a sticky situation (or even otherwise) the chance that they are left scott free or given open weightage is extremely high. For example all that my sis needs to do to get things done around the house is at most a twitch of the nose. Umh....ya. Whereas I got to go though the democratic process of mom....then dad...and then also through a review of the decision in case the so called minority of my sister has a problem with that. As such the justice system is also extremely biased. As for my mom she at least searches for a formal proof (for example at least one drop of salt water in at least one eye). As for my dad, the expression is all that is needed to start of a complete disarmament campaign against me. This is as bad as the Indian laws related to women, where the girl only got to say in the police station that “he abused me” and the entire administration will sweep in to ruin your life.

There is one more aspect that baffled me form the time I was a kid. This is a factor that turned so many decisions against me. This is what I call “A girl talks the truth no matter what” factor. Umh…What sort of syndrome is this. Parents just keep believing this…after all aren’t girl human and do they not have the brain to lie? Well generally the lie is not a lie as per the dictionary definition. It is generally distortion of facts or amplification of situations that would render the acts to seems like cold blooded crimes.
Let's see… fine day my sister during lunch announced ”you know mommy, this fellow is watching T.V. late night and that to English ones”. This was enough to conjure the situation of me watching all the wrong things. The trouble was that the previous night I was watching English channels but the content was the far less obscene; cartoons. In my mothers terms this was breach of trust. I could perceive…….the silence is as usual killing and then I turned to my dad. There was a black out on his face. This is bad news. Generally the Greek god Helios would find it difficult to lighten my dads face at these times. And this only meant on thing. Sanctions. Financial, TV rights, movement rights, telephone rights etc. Fundament rights stand suspended for some time to come. And it is a long drawn fight. I knew it and embraced it.
There is a guilt complex too that gets involved here. You see there is truth in the fact that I did watch Baywatch. This was the stone ages when I did not know who Pamela Anderson was or her contribution to ‘man’kind. But like in the story “Clock and the Anthem” you getting caught for not doing a crime drives you nuts and then you feel that you are paying the price for all the crimes you did do. Any ways as in Apocalypto, the end come before a new beginning and that’s what happened. When TV got closed, friend introduced me to the new avenues of the internet. I entered the Iron Age, realized the importance of Pamela and……the rest is censored. My heart felt gratitude to all my friends who supported me in the transformation. Returning to the point of discussion I hope you realized that the innocent deeds (amplifying truth) of my sweet sister lead to the change of an era.

Let’s deal with another aspect. This is related to the sacredness of the stuff owned by my sister and the public property like nature of practically every thing I called mine. These were the days of renaissance with respect to art. My sister loves drawing, painting and the likes of it. Well she can use anything from the news papers to my books as a canvas. This was the bone of contention. Many things started moving out of place; examples were sharpeners, pencils, scales, sketch pens etc. I was irritated about this indiscriminate annexation of property in the name of art. Well what could I do? I launched a strong protest about this behavior. My father declared or should I say issued a decree that all known art related stuff would at once be moved to my sisters control and that I was in fact not eligible for saying a “no I am not going to let go of that” in this issue. Disgrace at its best. The next day I found that most of my pens were taken over. I ignored the glaring difference like a good citizen. One fine day I needed the long scale and I took it with out notice. That was the crime. My sister protested that I had taken something without me asking for it (read beg and wriggle on the floor). My mom denounced the act as that of irrational behavior of a grown up. The surprise was delivered by my dad. Instead of a sensational new law, he merely asked me to apologize and ask the next time.

Well for all the dominance that my sister shows, there is a display of some rare, yet tangible love. She does not ever forget to leave the last sweet for me or for the matter knows most of the things I like. And some how she selects my clothes better than I do and rarely objects about statement in public…..I mean family and friends….Its a different matter that she may give a sound thrashing later on, but still. She is good at most of the things she does and never actually complains about things that really do not fall into her jurisdiction, like ….well there are some areas and I am not able to remember them now.

Anyways friends, “Rakhee” went by and my inspiration for writing this stuff was that day.
If you are a girl I know you will not sympathize.
If you are guy with a sister I know you will empathize.
If you are a guy with no sisters…you do not know what you have missed.

See you all…until the next time…..bye.