tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624737355211444942024-03-08T11:28:49.000-08:00Silence is forbidden!Welcome to my cacophonic world.B Rahul Raohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10805244547988067831noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-862473735521144494.post-52226518170502278072008-09-14T08:16:00.000-07:002008-09-14T08:23:50.818-07:00The confessions of a noble brotherHow many of you have read this as "The confessions of a criminal mind"?<br />Let me explain the significance of your accidental reading. If you are a girl and has a brother, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s just your mental predisposition. Any one else…please get to a psychiatrist immediately...there is no time to spare.<br />This whole talk today is dedicated to this one aspect of a man’s life. The all dominant SISTERS.<br /><br />Umh...<br /><br />There was a change in my sister when I visited her this time. She has become more possessive of my mom and seems to have ...well in a way occupied the whole place. Dominance is the word and I truly felt the lack of power. I understand that this must be due to my mother pouring all the love that used to get divided (tough not exactly in half but still a substantial share I would say.) between me and her. Any ways she felt it was difficult to just divulge so much power and control just for the sake of a brother. The reluctance was clear.<br /><br />Any ways my bedroom is no more mine. A bit of history is needed here. Once I did have a room of my own. The same one which is called my sister's room now. She looked at me as if I was a refugee in that room. May be the next time I visit, I suppose she will issue a visa to enter the room...Grrrrr.<br />Well memories of what was once my own overwhelm me now. This was three and a half years ago. I designed that room and my mom financed it. Well technically there was a flaw in the process of deciding whose room to start designing first and it turned out to be mine. The room completed and my sister invited some of her friends over for lunch. The only thing that I was clearly able to overhear was as follows<br />“Hey how was my idea of the bed in that room…you know me and my mom sat for long hours and designed that room.”<br />A thermo nuclear bomb did erupt in me, yet I had to control my self in the name of family dignity (You got to understand that in the process of containing this explosion some of my nerves got permanently damaged and I did go through a hemorrhage. But given the size of the explosion, the damage is not proportional I suppose.) I realize while writing that this might be very well a carefully orchestrated plan in the first place; for I could not hear any thing except this line….umh…isn’t that fishy.<br />Well, then came the day I had to leave and join my company in Hyderabad. That’s when she declared that she would like to (read love to) occupy my room but promised me that I still had the right to occupy two of the cupboards. You should understand that in history the promise of a conqueror should never be taken seriously. Well after all I took it seriously and paid the price. The next time I checked the cupboards, they were firmly looked with am invisible board stating the owner’s name.<br /><br />Girls are born with a gift that is used most indiscriminately of all things in the world. They command an air that tells then that in a sticky situation (or even otherwise) the chance that they are left scott free or given open weightage is extremely high. For example all that my sis needs to do to get things done around the house is at most a twitch of the nose. Umh....ya. Whereas I got to go though the democratic process of mom....then dad...and then also through a review of the decision in case the so called minority of my sister has a problem with that. As such the justice system is also extremely biased. As for my mom she at least searches for a formal proof (for example at least one drop of salt water in at least one eye). As for my dad, the expression is all that is needed to start of a complete disarmament campaign against me. This is as bad as the Indian laws related to women, where the girl only got to say in the police station that “he abused me” and the entire administration will sweep in to ruin your life.<br /><br />There is one more aspect that baffled me form the time I was a kid. This is a factor that turned so many decisions against me. This is what I call “A girl talks the truth no matter what” factor. Umh…What sort of syndrome is this. Parents just keep believing this…after all aren’t girl human and do they not have the brain to lie? Well generally the lie is not a lie as per the dictionary definition. It is generally distortion of facts or amplification of situations that would render the acts to seems like cold blooded crimes.<br />Let's see…..one fine day my sister during lunch announced ”you know mommy, this fellow is watching T.V. late night and that to English ones”. This was enough to conjure the situation of me watching all the wrong things. The trouble was that the previous night I was watching English channels but the content was the far less obscene; cartoons. In my mothers terms this was breach of trust. I could perceive…….the silence is as usual killing and then I turned to my dad. There was a black out on his face. This is bad news. Generally the Greek god Helios would find it difficult to lighten my dads face at these times. And this only meant on thing. Sanctions. Financial, TV rights, movement rights, telephone rights etc. Fundament rights stand suspended for some time to come. And it is a long drawn fight. I knew it and embraced it.<br />There is a guilt complex too that gets involved here. You see there is truth in the fact that I did watch Baywatch. This was the stone ages when I did not know who Pamela Anderson was or her contribution to ‘man’kind. But like in the story “Clock and the Anthem” you getting caught for not doing a crime drives you nuts and then you feel that you are paying the price for all the crimes you did do. Any ways as in Apocalypto, the end come before a new beginning and that’s what happened. When TV got closed, friend introduced me to the new avenues of the internet. I entered the Iron Age, realized the importance of Pamela and……the rest is censored. My heart felt gratitude to all my friends who supported me in the transformation. Returning to the point of discussion I hope you realized that the innocent deeds (amplifying truth) of my sweet sister lead to the change of an era.<br /><br />Let’s deal with another aspect. This is related to the sacredness of the stuff owned by my sister and the public property like nature of practically every thing I called mine. These were the days of renaissance with respect to art. My sister loves drawing, painting and the likes of it. Well she can use anything from the news papers to my books as a canvas. This was the bone of contention. Many things started moving out of place; examples were sharpeners, pencils, scales, sketch pens etc. I was irritated about this indiscriminate annexation of property in the name of art. Well what could I do? I launched a strong protest about this behavior. My father declared or should I say issued a decree that all known art related stuff would at once be moved to my sisters control and that I was in fact not eligible for saying a “no I am not going to let go of that” in this issue. Disgrace at its best. The next day I found that most of my pens were taken over. I ignored the glaring difference like a good citizen. One fine day I needed the long scale and I took it with out notice. That was the crime. My sister protested that I had taken something without me asking for it (read beg and wriggle on the floor). My mom denounced the act as that of irrational behavior of a grown up. The surprise was delivered by my dad. Instead of a sensational new law, he merely asked me to apologize and ask the next time.<br /><br />Well for all the dominance that my sister shows, there is a display of some rare, yet tangible love. She does not ever forget to leave the last sweet for me or for the matter knows most of the things I like. And some how she selects my clothes better than I do and rarely objects about statement in public…..I mean family and friends….Its a different matter that she may give a sound thrashing later on, but still. She is good at most of the things she does and never actually complains about things that really do not fall into her jurisdiction, like ….well there are some areas and I am not able to remember them now.<br /><br />Anyways friends, “Rakhee” went by and my inspiration for writing this stuff was that day.<br />If you are a girl I know you will not sympathize.<br />If you are guy with a sister I know you will empathize.<br />If you are a guy with no sisters…you do not know what you have missed.<br /><br />See you all…until the next time…..bye.B Rahul Raohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10805244547988067831noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-862473735521144494.post-82919880607891178852007-05-01T00:46:00.000-07:002007-05-01T04:21:20.324-07:00Rasgulle with RahulYummy. I live to eat sweets. Well back to writing after a long time.<br />Thank you Megha and Sameer for those comments. I dedicate this one to you fellows. :-)<br />Before we move on to the topic of discussion I would like to mention what happened meanwhile……<br /><br />I read a lot of blogs and found that all of them had copied my themes/ story lines i.e. the ones I was about to write. So I waited for an original thought to strike me and found that I was not really as creative as many think (In fact I found I had overrated myself.) This was followed by a phase of self exploration. I found out that by exploring an area that had nothing in it will yield nothing. The basic principle of physics that matter can neither be created nor destroyed applies and therefore trying to extract something out of the void seems to be a futile task. Then my instincts of a diligent student in a coaching centre arose like a phoenix. I looked up for phrases and simply landed on this topic while singing inky pinky ponky… So let the madness begin.<br /><br />Surfing the T. V. is an art by it self. You need expertise and domain knowledge to eliminate channels, find the right ones and ignore/appreciate advertisements. Some of the surfs yield snippets of conversation that are gems of entertainment.<br /><br />Well I was watching “Coffee with Karan” recently. I know that some of my friend would raise an eye brow already, but relax and stop wandering in to those dirty thoughts of yours.<br />Rakhee Sawant was on the show and the conversation…...<br /><br />Karan: Have U got plastic surgery done.<br />Rakhee: Ya, did U see my lips. They are filled.<br />Karan: (By nature not aroused by such a provocative statement) Where else did you fill in.<br />Rakhee: What do you mean by that? (Ends the statement with a weird smile which I suppose was intended to be indicating indecent stuff.)<br />Karan: Produces the best fake laugh I have seen. Seems to me that he has learnt a bit of acting in the process of directing.<br /><br />The point to be noted is that if this was Meka or Mika what ever that poor souls name is, the “bharatiya nari” would have come out of her. But I feel Rakhee knew that in the case of Karan it would not work owing to his well known gender preferences.<br /><br />The switch happens to a news channel….thanks to my cable operator who believes in shuffling the channels regularly to make my surfing more random and interesting. What do I see....It is Sidhu and Ajay Jadeja with a new host on NDTV. The host…errr….hostess knew that she was dealing with the most uncontrolled monster and yet displayed the courage of a Greek warrior facing certain death. The topic was about cricket and thus I am not interested in the content.<br /><br />Hostess: .(Throws a question) Blah blah blah<br />Ajay: I feel that…. (Thunder. Ajay stops abruptly)<br />Sidhu: Thunder, rain, thunder, rain, thunder, rain … ‘n’ iterations.<br />Ajay: Drenched and shivering in rage, yet speechless.<br />Hostess: Safely camouflaged in the audience peeps out and gives a grin.<br /><br />What a show. I still do not understand the need for Ajay. They knew Sidhu was there. Well I know that the hostess was also dispensable but in the name of a standard show, you need somebody to pass around the microphone. I wonder how it would be to put Rakhee instead of Ajay. Ah I know there are friends who are raising eye brows again. Come on fellows…..what did Mandira know when she hosted the world cup.<br /><br /><br />Mean while on another channel we have “Jeena isheka naam hai”. Rakee once again and Mahesh Bhatt speaking. “Rakhee I know that you are a person with the cleanest heart. And from such a clean heart comes courage to speak against the system. Keep that innocence and vulnerability that you have for they are your assets. I like you a lot. Bye.” Well I know that every one is entitled to a clean heart what ever they do but still……what tickled me was that Mahesh was trying to say he has done such unbelievable things with his actresses that what Rakhee went through was nothing. He was also tying to say that she had a lot of courage to pull the media for a kiss …well…initiated by her.<br /><br /><br />Suddenly I see a foreigner kissing an Indian woman in a news channel. Yes, you know every bit about this one. Apparently I underestimated the length and the number of kisses. It looked like a competition of some sort. And you must have seen the happy face of Shilpa post the event. Rakhee, learn to fix the right kind of fellows. You would have got compensation in dollars if it was Gere. And that’s where Mahesh’s analysis of Rakhee’s clean heart finds substantiation.<br /><br />Moving to more international stuff…sorry, Gere and Shipla are already international… I was watching a telecast of the Oscars on some channel…now do not ask me which one I seriously do not remember. The actresses were walking in on the red carpet one after the other and you must have seen the misery of the poor things. They were finding it difficult not to step on each others train and I could see the suffering on their faces. To add to that there is the Manish Malhotra kind of guy trying to analyse every damn dress. All of the dresses looked the same and most were of the same colour. Stupidity at its heights.<br /><br />Well “The Simpsons” always throws in a surprise. I liked a piece of conversation and it goes like this….<br />Simpson: Hey, was that guy with my wife handsome and rugged.<br />Bartender: He was rugged but not handsome.<br />Simpson: The difference.<br />Bartender: Handsome fellows keep looking at themselves in the mirror and there it ends. Women keep looking at the rugged fellows and generally it never ends there.<br /><br />Well dear reader I hope you had some relaxation from constantly entertaining yourself through other mediums. I understand that most of us are tired managing our entertainment schedules. See you, until the next one.<br /><br />Rahul.B Rahul Raohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10805244547988067831noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-862473735521144494.post-47224114827512628462007-03-03T05:36:00.000-08:002007-03-03T08:32:09.891-08:00The Russian SaladAn apt name to start my very first blog. Before I start of, I thank Sameera for introducing me to the world of blogs and Palavi who gave me the final push. (Generally Pal is delighted pulling my leg)<br /><br />It was a sunny afternoon, almost the English one where you are not sure whether your skin is burning or not. The holy idea was to have lunch and we decided to have it at the nearest place to our office, Pizza Hut. You see I diet a lot and thus avoid salads at all cost. But not this day. Friends are friends, and they have this uncanny ability to make you do what you would swear by gods never to do.<br /><br />A good friend of mine (who would not be so good if I do not refer to her as “good”) introduced me to the salad at Pizza Hut. To my amazement another friend of mine liked it and encouraged me to try it out. He was the one who called it “Russian Salad” which in fact was some chicken salad whose name I prefer never to know.<br /><br />By the way these two friends I refer to, have quiet different tastes. Thus I assumed it would be safe to eat and took the wrong step against my gut feeling. We walked in. They ordered. I started eating. Oh what a taste it was!<br /><br />The ingredients were thus:<br />Vegetables of all sorts that I have never seen before, expect on some Pizza in cooked or charred format. (You should not consider my use of the word “format” as inappropriate. It is a part of the software lingo and I can’t get rid of it)<br /><br />An unfamiliar sauce that joined the disjoint ingredients into one undistinguishable white mass. But then, I have to give credit to the Olives and another vegetable of unknown origin to break the monotony of taste.<br /><br />Boiled and frozen chicken, thawed to the appropriate level so that it remains undistinguishable from the remaining content.<br /><br />And as I ate, the stuff melted in my mouth……Oh how disgusting it was. I would have abused everybody if I were not in sophisticated and dangerous company. Of course I am a gentleman and did not behave inappropriately at that moment, but I did give a piece of my mind to my dear friends post this memorable lunch session. I behaved as stable as Jennifer (of “Great Escapes: Discovery” fame, who would eat the most disgusting food and yet manage not to cry.)<br /><br />Conclusion: I won the Russian Roulette Gourmet style. Yes I survived it and it feels great. I celebrated (read “washed it off my tongue”) with an Ebony and Ivory.<br /><br />By the way this occasion was graced by other conspirators too, that included by blog mentor Sam. I bet all of them had a nice laugh looking at me and my “never go back on what you have committed to eat” stance. But professionals that they were, all of then behaved as if they were deeply involved in understanding the concept behind the flavour of the pizza in their hands.<br /><br />Dear readers and all the friends involved in the above piece of history. I have no grudges against anybody (And if I do, I will not let you know until the day revenge happens). It was an experiment that went bad and I understand that everybody need not have the capacity to distinguish between edible and tasty food.<br /><br />Thanks for reading so far. Hope you enjoyed.<br /><br />And before I sign off I shall ask what my mentor took years to ask…..Please leave your comments. :-)<br /><br />Bye.B Rahul Raohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10805244547988067831noreply@blogger.com15